Jackass 3-D: Midget Girl In

"Jackass 3-D" is a perfect example of how you don't need a great story, or even interesting characters, to make a movie successful. No, going by their logic, you just need a bunch of guys that have the brain capacity of a five year old, and show them doing moronic stupid crap. By stupid crap, I mean really stupid crap. I'm talking about stuff that would even make the "Three Stooges" seem like civilize gentlemen. For those that are unfamiliar with the "Jackass" series, it was originally a popular reality show on MTV. During the show, a bunch of men would do stupid things that ranged on the edge of vulgar and disgusting. Such vulgar things like drinking and eating each others' feces and/or urine, to even showing them doing stuff that's down right dangerous. Such stunts like skateboarding on ice, or getting thrown twenty feet in the air while being in a port-o-potty. Some of you reading this are probably wondering, how can you make something like that into a movie? Let alone a trilogy?

The simple answer to that question is they just basically do the same crap, as they did on MTV, but there's a key difference. The difference is that they don't censor or delete anything. That's right. Instead of blurring out a man's genitals, when he gets hit in the nuts, you'll see his entire junk before he gets hit. Heck, they don't even bother blurring out the scenes where the guy takes a crap on a fake volcano, or when that old guy wiped his a** on the street. They even have the indecency to show a girl, who looked suspiciously under age, making out with a senior citizen, as part of some twisted joke to play on strangers they ran into. As it seems, nothing is sacred in "Jackass", as they'll do just about anything to make you laugh even if it hurts them.

Hopefully, that gives everyone a general idea of what the series is about, as the entire movie series is like this. No script. No story. Just a bunch of morons doing random stupid crap to make you laugh. By the way, this new film is shot entirely in 3-D. Oh joy. Now, not only do we get to see Steve-O or Johnny Knoxville get hit in the nuts frequently during this movie, we get to see it happen in 3-D. Whoopee! Heck, throw in the slow motion cinematography in there while we're at it, along with replays of certain scenes, and you have yourself, "Jackass 3-D." Oh boy, this is exactly what I've always wanted to see in 3-D. A bunch of guys getting hit in the nuts, midget fighting, and seeing guys take a crap is exactly what I've always wanted to see in a movie. Now, my life is complete, as I couldn't be any happier. For those that can't tell by now, I'm being very sarcastic, as this film is perfect example of how low our standards have gotten in terms of entertainment value.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind low brow physical comedy, as I grew up watching a lot of violent cartoons like "Ren & Stimpy" and "Looney Tunes"; along with a lot of "Three Stooges" type comedies. However, if I'm forced to watch guys drinking their own damn urine and even watching them throw dildos at the screen just for a few cheap laughs, then that's where I draw the line. Sure, the film had it's moments, but there's only so many times a guy can get hit in the nuts or the face in slow motion, before you start to realize how moronically stupid the movie is. Seriously, is this what our society deems entertainment these days?

By the way, I apologize to any five year old out there, along with their parents, for what I said earlier. Saying the cast of "Jackass 3-D" had the same brain capacity of a five year old is too much of an insult to the children, as they're way smarter than these guys. Therefore, I apologize to them, as Steve-O, Johnny Knoxville and the rest of the "Jackass" crew are a bunch of freaking idiots with the IQ of a freaking stick. In fact, if it wasn't for my policy of analyzing films to see if it appeals to it's target audience, then I would have given this film a straight up zero. However, since I'm forced to acknowledge the target audience's liking to the film, then I'd have to give this movie a one out of four.

Not a particularly great movie but if you just want a bunch of cheap laughs, with no story at all, then look no further than this one. For those that like to have their comedies contain a lot more substance, then I think it's best to pass on this.